Rather than risk not being able to bring her home at all, we decided to request a new TA and hope to travel in November or early December. So now we wait. We are waiting for a new TA. While we wait, I am working every extra shift I can as a RN to save money for travel. I took matters into my own hands and decided that I would make this happen one way or another. The result is not very pretty. I am working 5-6 days a week and missing my family sooo much. I am also fighting fatigue and a sinus infection. I know that this too shall pass and she will be in our arms in a few short weeks. The days and weeks feel soo long like time is standing still. I am not feeling sorry for myself or this situation. I got over that about a month ago. No, I am thankful to have a job where I can work extra and I know that this too shall pass.
I also believe that God will provide for Jaidyn to come home in spite of me. I know that I have taken this into my hands and I am trying to make it work, but I also know that God is bigger than the money we need to bring Jaidyn home. God is the one that provided for Jailynn to come home and Jordyn to come home. When we adopted Jaidyn, I was literally walking on the water with Jesus. Because I did not have all the funds together for travel. I still needed the several thousand dollars for the in country fees. I was praying and praying on the way to the airport. Suddenly, the money came in from different places and different special people in my life. This time around I had made a promise to myself that it would not happen that way again. What happened to my promise to myself??? I had a really good plan that just did not go as planned. I had no control over the circumstances and it threw me for a big loop. I know that I am just going on and on. I don't mean too. I am trying to make sense of it for myself I guess.
The truth is that adoption funding is hard. I have tried fundraisers and not done so well. Raising a family and working to bring home a child from the other side of the world is hard. Things happen that are not planned for and unexpected. I have heard comments and felt or sensed the judgement that we should have all this planned out ahead of time before starting the process. In an ideal world that is the best scenario. However, when we began adding to our family through adoption we stepped out in faith believing that this was God's plan for our family. We believed God for a daughter from China. An older child that would not have a chance for a family. We stepped out in faith and God met us every step of the way. Little did we know that He would ask us to adopt another waiting child, and another. We never dreamed of coming this far and keeping three special girls together. Forever sisters. How will God provide this time around? I am not sure. I know that He will, even when I mess things up and make mistakes. Even when my plans don't work out. I believe that we will bring Jaidyn home and it will all be to the Glory of God. Does it make sense? No. It is something that seems impossible to me, something bigger than us, something more than what we are capable of doing.?Yes.Somehow, that is just how God does things. He calls us to do something bigger than ourselves so that we can see His Hand at work in our lives. I know this to be true. I also know that He is teaching me to let go and let God. I know that through all three adoptions I have grown closer in my walk with Him and I have grown as a person. I know that I just have to trust in Him and wait for His timing and for His help. In the mean time, I will work to get ready to bring my daughter home.
|Jailynn and Jaidyn together in China before we adopted Jailynn.|
|Jordyn, Jaidyn, and Jailynn in China when we were adopting Jailynn.|
|Jaidyn waiting to come home.|