Thinking of Jaidyn

 Not one day goes by that I do not think of sweet Jaidyn. I think about her at the orphanage, getting ready for school, coming home from school, doing her school work, eating her supper, and getting ready for bed. I long to hold Jaidyn in my arms and give her a big hug. I can't wait to see her reunited with Jordyn and Jailynn. I know that she will be so excited and happy to see them. I also wonder if she even realizes that her life is about to change forever. I am sure that she knows something is about to happen because she has seen it happen before to Jordyn and Jailynn. First there was a cake sent to them seemingly out of no where. A special cake with presents and pictures of strangers. Then Jordyn was gone from the orphanage. Two years later the same thing happened to Jailynn. A cake appears with presents and pictures, then in a few months, Jailynn is gone. Now, Jaidyn has received a cake of her own. There were presents and pictures and a letter. Soon, she will also leave the orphanage and she will be with her best friends. They will be sisters forever. I hope that she realizes that we are coming soon. That we are working so hard to bring her home. Most likely she does not really understand what is about to happen. Jordyn told me that she did not have a clue about what adoption meant. She thought that she was going on a vacation with some people she didn't know. She told me that she was very scared and did not know what was happening to her. That explained alot about her reactions and behaviors. Hindsite is 20/20. Jailynn was just so happy to be with Jordyn that I don't think she cared who we were or where she was going. She is very smart and she understood alot about what was happening. Jordyn is also very intelligent, she just was not prepared. She was told that she was going to be adopted but that was it. She did not know what adoption meant. Just makes me wonder how much Jaidyn understands and how her transition will go. I hope and pray she will have a smooth transition, and I hope that it will help having Jordyn and Jailynn by her side. However, I also know from experience that adoption rarely goes the way we hope and imagine it to go. I am certain, though, that these three girls are meant to stay together. I know the bond they share is stronger than bonds of siblings and they can not wait for Jaidyn to come home. I think about how long this adoption process has taken and all the bumps along the way and I wish that it had gone faster. I wish that Jaidyn was already home and this was all behind us. All I can do is keep fighting to bring her home, and keep praying for God to help us bring her home. I know that the fight is worth it. I know that she is worth it and she deserves to be home. Every orphan deserves to be home growing and thriving in the love of a family. Everyone has a unique and different story. Jordyn was almost adopted before we knew about her when she was 3 or 4 years old and for reasons that we do not know, the family was unable to adopt her. Jordyn has the special need of cleft lip and palate and she is Hepatitis B positive. Jailynn had cancer at 8 months old and almost lost her life. She had emergency surgery and treatment and she is now cancer free. Jaidyn has Cerebral Palsy and Hydrocephalus. She has had physical therapy and treatment and her CP seems to be a mild case. However, there are never any guarantees with any child adopted or biological. So this is their story. All three girls had their own unique struggle to overcome and they overcame their struggles together. Jordyn remembers when Jailynn was taken to the hospital at 8 months old and she was with the Director and Nanny when they took her to the hospital. Jordyn and Jailynn both remember when Jaidyn was getting therapy and treatment for CP. We have heard their stories told by them and we have seen their love for each other which also caused our hearts to grow in our love for them.

I just want to say THANK YOU! To everyone that is visiting my blog and giving a donation to help Jaidyn come home. Seeing the kindness of people that we don't know help us to help a child in need of a family brings me such encouragement. I was very discouraged over this adoption because it has taken us so long. I have felt that this mountain was too much for us and that it was impossible. But seeing the donations lifted my spirit so much and made me realize that God is in this with us. That we will bring our daughter home and this is gonna happen. The day that I posted on Adeye's blog I had little hope, but I felt a nudge from the Lord that I should just put the link to my blog on it and prayed. I also prayed that it would rain where we live because we have not seen drops of rain in a long time. We have actually had fires around our home in our neighborhood. Thankfully, not one house was affected and the fires were stopped. So, I prayed that God would send the rain that we need so badly and help our family bring Jaidyn home. Well, the next day it rained for a long time. A good soaking rain! I was so suprised by the fact that it rained the very next day and I remembered that quick short prayer. I felt in my heart that God was speaking to me that I am not in this alone and He is on my side. Now, I know and believe the scriptures and pray and quoted them in my quiet time. I know that He is for me and not against me and that through Him all things are possible.But to really see it happening is just so exciting. I felt joy and hope and peace rising back up inside my heart.  I know that He called us to keep the three girls together. I felt it when I was in China and we took the picture of the three girls sitting together at the school. I just had this faith rise up in me that they would all be in our family.I also quickly tried to reason that it was crazy thinking to try it, and tried to just remove it from my mind. I also know that during one of my times of prayer  asking God to find a family for her I heard His voice speak to me that we are her family. We knew her, met her, and prayed for her and He was placing her into our family. So thank you for giving and helping Jaidyn. Thank you for being the hands and feet of the Lord. We will pay it forward in return. I just hope to convey how much this means to me and to our family. We are so very thankful!

Jaidyn Grace

Jaidyn at school

Thank you from all of us!

Update on Jaidyn

       First of all, I just can't believe how fast time seems to be moving and how slow at the same time. I feel like the days are spinning by me and I am getting no where fast. We had to request a new TA for Jaidyn. I was so sad that we had to push back our travel and so disappointed. But the truth is that I was not ready, we were not ready, and our funds were not ready. How can we be this far in to the process and still not be ready?? I really just don't know anymore at this point. I only know that thanks to the audit on our tax return we did not have the funds available. Now my heart breaks as I think about Jaidyn still waiting for us and still waiting be with Jordyn and Jailynn.
      Rather than risk not being able to bring her home at all, we decided to request a new TA and hope to travel in November or early December. So now we wait. We are waiting for a new TA. While we wait, I am working every extra shift I can as a RN to save money for travel. I took matters into my own hands and decided that I would make this happen one way or another. The result is not very pretty. I am working 5-6 days a week and missing my family sooo much. I am also fighting fatigue and a sinus infection. I know that this too shall pass and she will be in our arms in a few short weeks. The days and weeks feel soo long like time is standing still. I am not feeling sorry for myself or this situation. I got over that about a month ago. No, I am thankful to have a job where I can work extra and I know that this too shall pass.
        I also believe that God will provide for Jaidyn to come home in spite of me. I know that I have taken this into my hands and I am trying to make it work, but I also know that God is bigger than the money we need to bring Jaidyn home. God is the one that provided for Jailynn to come home and Jordyn to come home. When we adopted Jaidyn, I was literally walking on the water with Jesus. Because I did not have all the funds together for travel. I still needed the several thousand dollars for the in country fees. I was praying and praying on the way to the airport. Suddenly, the money came in from different places and different special people in my life. This time around I had made a promise to myself that it would not happen that way again. What happened to my promise to myself??? I had a really good plan that just did not go as planned. I had no control over the circumstances and it threw me for a big loop. I know that I am just going on and on. I don't mean too. I am trying to make sense of it for myself I guess.
     The truth is that adoption funding is hard. I have tried fundraisers and not done so well. Raising a family and working to bring home a child from the other side of the world is hard. Things happen that are not planned for and unexpected. I have heard comments and felt or sensed the judgement that we should have all this planned out ahead of time before starting the process. In an ideal world that is the best scenario. However, when we began adding to our family through adoption we stepped out in faith believing that this was God's plan for our family. We believed God for a daughter from China. An older child that would not have a chance for a family. We stepped out in faith and God met us every step of the way. Little did we know that He would ask us to adopt another waiting child, and another. We never dreamed of coming this far and keeping three special girls together. Forever sisters. How will God provide this time around? I am not sure. I know that He will, even when I mess things up and make mistakes. Even when my plans don't work out. I believe that we will bring Jaidyn home and it will all be to the Glory of God. Does it make sense? No. It is something that seems impossible to me, something bigger than us, something more than what we are capable of doing.?Yes.Somehow, that is just how God does things. He calls us to do something bigger than ourselves so that we can see His Hand at work in our lives. I know this to be true. I also know that He is teaching me to let go and let God. I know that through all three adoptions I have grown closer in my walk with Him and I have grown as a person. I know that I just have to trust in Him and wait for His timing and for His help. In the mean time, I will work to get ready to bring my daughter home.

Jailynn and Jaidyn together in China before we adopted Jailynn.

Jordyn, Jaidyn, and Jailynn in China when we were adopting Jailynn.

Jaidyn waiting to come home.